remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
