Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
nutella sex= disaster
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize