That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
