In the future we'll all be gay
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
