similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
