Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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