So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
