There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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