So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
