Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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