Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
