Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
