I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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