Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
