Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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