he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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