The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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