so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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