Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
