Let's paint friendship bongs
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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