How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
