dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You're like the curious george of whores
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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