remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just invented taco cereal.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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