grandma shit on top of the toilet
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
