Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
