hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
