I think i peed on brittanys purse
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't think brook has ever known best
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
