You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
