even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
