is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
wow bdsm is so cute
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