he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
