:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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