That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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