JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
