i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
How external is "for external use only"?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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