i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
