Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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