Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
