Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
