so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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