he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
