My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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