dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
