I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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