So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
