in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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