I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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