Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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