I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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