I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
