they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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