Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
