she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
