Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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