i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
