margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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