it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
