So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
