I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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