just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
be right there i have to get my cape
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
