Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
it's great music for shaving your balls
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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