Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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