So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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